apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
