Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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