it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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