I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize