so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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