She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize