Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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