the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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