You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
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Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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