is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
