oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
