U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dick very happy bro
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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