He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
