Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
