Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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