I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
