What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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