My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
