I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
