i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I want to have your abortion
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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