apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
