**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
