too bad you live with your parents still
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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