just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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