Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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