8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize