Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
