It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
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All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
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Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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