Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
