My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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