I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
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This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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