A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
