So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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