she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
