the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
