So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
