So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
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I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
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She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
is that a dick in a sweater?
I did not marry a roomba.
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