I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
