she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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