i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
