My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
