well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
