Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
