It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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