ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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