we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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