I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
