I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
