dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
