Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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