Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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