so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
