your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
