no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
