I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
