Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
