Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
