oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.