Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped