he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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