Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
