once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?