He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We left the knife in your bed.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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