Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  Billy Mays is dead too!

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

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  (352): Billy Mays is dead too! (1-352): Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs http://tfl.nu/okmt
  Replies (11) Good night (2069) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in

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  (740): this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in http://tfl.nu/i6mo
  Replies (13) Good night (3351) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (112) Good night (51775) Bad night (1924)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.

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  (651): He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient. http://tfl.nu/9tdu
  Replies (19) Good night (1137) Bad night (6516)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.

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  (207): So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town. http://tfl.nu/b29o
  Replies (32) Good night (7787) Bad night (2477)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth

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  (415): i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth http://tfl.nu/t0qb
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (3544)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup

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  (248): after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup http://tfl.nu/a67v
  Replies (22) Good night (1173) Bad night (8912)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz

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  (740): I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz http://tfl.nu/789h
  Replies (10) Good night (1991) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

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  (423): Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zkpt
  Replies (6) Good night (1573) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina

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  (518): His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina http://tfl.nu/49ay
  Replies (10) Good night (1241) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.

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  (208): Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that. http://tfl.nu/xdn8
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.

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  (513): Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause. http://tfl.nu/cvb4
  Replies (2) Good night (891) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.

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  (314): your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning. http://tfl.nu/cyj6
  Replies (3) Good night (1133) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.

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  (337): why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/berd
  Replies (4) Good night (840) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence

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  (240): Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence http://tfl.nu/zd2a
  Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (350)

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