She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
