ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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