I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
