i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I cockslap morals
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize